My Birthday

I had a very good birthday. I requested money to have our yard cleaned up, only I'm too embarassed to ask my ex-yard guy if he'll take on the job. The backyard is a mess, partly b/c of our little diggers we rescued last winter and partly b/c everything is overgrown.

Anyway, my Bible Study group sang HB and my good friend Kathy treated me to lunch but most importantly some chat time.

Later in the evening, our family got together at Mark and Lisa's. We had hamburgers, quacamole and chips and those grilled peppers with bacon and shrimp, and cupcakes. Thanks Lisa and Rick.

It was sweet to see the little ones pile up in Wayne's lap and played hide and seek. Beka is growing up and is still my sweet pea.

It has just dawned on me what went wrong on my BD. I have not heard from one of my oldest friends in the world. This is the 1st BD she has missed. I'll call her next week, but not now; I don't want her to think that's why I'm calling. We usually do something together. In her defense, things aren't the same with us anymore and hasn't been for a couple of years. She has lost track of reality and I won't be surprised if someday I'm told she has totally lost it and is in Rusk or some place like it. We really do have a long history, but I find myself just not being able to relate to her at all. How crummy a friend is that, not to stick it out with her. I've been there for her thru everything in her life, being her stable rock to lean on. Now, I don't even know who she is anymore. I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. Before, I have put her before my husband and kids, to run to her rescue. Maybe she realizes I don't do that anymore. OR, maybe she doesn't b/c she's on another plain. lol. But I'm not kidding. My plate is very full and I just can't deal with her wierdness.

It still makes me sad that things have changed with us. I miss who she really is, down deep inside. I miss our fun doing anything and everything. There is a void where she was in my life. I think it's gone for good. I miss beating her in checkers not b/c I'm so good at checkers, but b/c she is so easily distracted, I could pull anything off. I miss go-cart racing. I beat her in that too.lol I miss going to the beach. I miss selling coke bottles to have enough money to go to the state park and making tuna salad sandwiches; riding bikes on the trails there with my kids.

I could go on and on. Bottom line- I miss who WE were. Ya know, younger and healthier. I pray she doing ok. I still love her like a sister. I just can't deal with her in large doses.