The Day After :(

It has started to sink in as of last night, after reading comments on Facebook. This morning, drinking my coffee, I found myself wanting to call Kathy. That's what we would do, when our hearts were breaking, but I can't call her. I can't talk to her. I can't see her. I told God we needed her here, so I'm trusting he will supply for our needs. It doesn't make it any easier. Put aside the fact where she is, what she's doing and having no more sickness, sadness. I'm talking about the LEFT BEHIND CREW!! Of course I'm happy for her. I prayed continuously for her not to suffer along with a gill ion others praying. Here's the deal......THE BIGGER YOU LOVE, THE BIGGER THE HOLE. And now I'm dealing with the hole, the void, the emptiness I feel. It's a fact, Jack!! There's no getting around it. I'm ok, I'm fine. This is what she kept saying. Who'd thought we'd only have a week with her and then she wasn't here mentally most of that time. Don't come running, this is a process we all have to go thru. I just express mine thru blogging. I can make it private it again, or you can stop reading if you want to. It won't hurt my feelings. I don't know who reads and who doesn't. No tracker on this blog.

I know, I'm depressing! Let me be light-hearted for a minute. When Kathy was in MD Anderson and they would come get her on a stretcher for testing. She was always sitting up, so I said "hey, get your beauty queen smile on and the pageant wave moving, as you parade down the halls." And she did. She lit up with her contagious smile of hers and got the wave going.

That's just the way she was, always smiling and looking on the bright side of things and looking for the good in everyone.

Father God, be with Roy and the girls tonight. Give them good rest to be ready for tomorrow and the next day. Claiming this verse for them Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Sad but true, it's me labeling as I see it! I'll see it better as the days go by.