Why do I mostly write on sad issues??... It's a way to express myself, when you don't want to bother anyone else. That's what I have decided, because I am normally an upbeat kind of gal, but am bothered periodically about one thing or another.
The waiting game... is what we are playing now. My friend has what the drs. call suspected spots of cancer scattered throughout her body, specifically on her hip bone, nodules in lungs and on lymph node under the liver. Oh, yeah, and a 4x4x4 mass of some sort in/on her heart, but it doesn't show up to be cancer. They don't know what this is!!! What?? Another ct scan hopefully shows it disappearing. We'll see.... also waiting on results from biopsy taken from lymph node. If it's not test results, it's insurance to wait on. This has been going on as we know it since April 29th.
My husband is about to hit the 3 yr. mark of his health downfall. He's had a pacemaker put in for low heart-rate, 3 Cardiod ablations in 8 months time. another kind of pacemaker replaced the first one, and a couple of extra hospital stays on top of all the other. He doesn't feel any better than he did 3 years ago. Oh, and the pacemaker now controls his heart, as in if IT stops, his heart stops. Well that's a comforting thought!!! Dr. Fuller has made her assessment on the whole thing. Indulge me, if you will....... He suffers from depression and this has not helped one bit. He was a very active man before and now energy is zapped from doing hardly anything. I believe or rather I hope that the inactivity has slowed his stamina and maybe he needs to build his strength up. The mind is willing if the body will follow. Depression can also zap the energy level, so in essence he's in a vicious circle. If we could get his energy level up, then maybe depression would be less. On the other hand, if we could help his depression ease up, then maybe his energy level would rise. See what I mean?? It's a dilemma, I tell you!!! I find myself trying to jump in the vicious circle on stop the madness, but I can't. I can only sit by and watch and be there for him. Some days are good and we think..ok we're on the mend, and then bam wam!!...there it sits like a lion ready to consume him.
I have much more but will have to save it for another post. I'm waiting on sweet Alex to get here for a little while. This is why we have grandchildren??...to be a beacon of light!!!
This is me labeling as I see it.
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