Birthday Saga

Well, wouldn't ya know it. My old friend showed up today about noon. She wanted to show me her new suv. She wished me a belated BD and gifted me with 2 count them-2 1-hr. massages. She is now sporting a Grand Cherokee. She's one of those who has done everything right financially. Good for her, she has worked dog hard all her life and has had to fight her stupid husband on everything financially. I bet he's loving it now,lol He wouldn't be sitting so pretty had it not been for her.

I still miss who we were. We talked about those times. Some of which when she would get a new car, we would take a road trip. Ya know to test it out. Those were the good ole days-- Six Flags, Galveston, Canton, Austin, San padres Island, Biloxi, Destin, Ft. Walton, New Braunfels, San Antonio. Of course, all of those trips were not "new car" trips. My kids saw alot of these places because of her generousity. Don't know if they knew it before now, but they will.

Anywho!!! We had fun with or without the kids, she was like part of the family. I miss those days. I will try to be more tolerate of her now, she's in there somewhere. Deep inside. SHE will even say- she hasn't been the same since 2006 and she's right. Something snapped and I wish I knew how to fix it. I always knew how before. I have my own problems now and my plate is full, but she's in capable hands. God loves her more than I ever could.

This concludes the BD saga

My Birthday

I had a very good birthday. I requested money to have our yard cleaned up, only I'm too embarassed to ask my ex-yard guy if he'll take on the job. The backyard is a mess, partly b/c of our little diggers we rescued last winter and partly b/c everything is overgrown.

Anyway, my Bible Study group sang HB and my good friend Kathy treated me to lunch but most importantly some chat time.

Later in the evening, our family got together at Mark and Lisa's. We had hamburgers, quacamole and chips and those grilled peppers with bacon and shrimp, and cupcakes. Thanks Lisa and Rick.

It was sweet to see the little ones pile up in Wayne's lap and played hide and seek. Beka is growing up and is still my sweet pea.

It has just dawned on me what went wrong on my BD. I have not heard from one of my oldest friends in the world. This is the 1st BD she has missed. I'll call her next week, but not now; I don't want her to think that's why I'm calling. We usually do something together. In her defense, things aren't the same with us anymore and hasn't been for a couple of years. She has lost track of reality and I won't be surprised if someday I'm told she has totally lost it and is in Rusk or some place like it. We really do have a long history, but I find myself just not being able to relate to her at all. How crummy a friend is that, not to stick it out with her. I've been there for her thru everything in her life, being her stable rock to lean on. Now, I don't even know who she is anymore. I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. Before, I have put her before my husband and kids, to run to her rescue. Maybe she realizes I don't do that anymore. OR, maybe she doesn't b/c she's on another plain. lol. But I'm not kidding. My plate is very full and I just can't deal with her wierdness.

It still makes me sad that things have changed with us. I miss who she really is, down deep inside. I miss our fun doing anything and everything. There is a void where she was in my life. I think it's gone for good. I miss beating her in checkers not b/c I'm so good at checkers, but b/c she is so easily distracted, I could pull anything off. I miss go-cart racing. I beat her in that too.lol I miss going to the beach. I miss selling coke bottles to have enough money to go to the state park and making tuna salad sandwiches; riding bikes on the trails there with my kids.

I could go on and on. Bottom line- I miss who WE were. Ya know, younger and healthier. I pray she doing ok. I still love her like a sister. I just can't deal with her in large doses.

Heart of Hearts

The heart of all hearts is just not acting right. I can't tell you how, sad and frustrated that makes me feel. Wayne has one of the biggest hearts I know and sadly enough it has been thru the wringer. It's thought he might have addison's disease, which would explain his low blood pressure all his life. So, yep, you can guess that's another pill to take, hopefully to be the cure-all. I'm convinced stress brought all this to light, but with so much attention given to it, you'd think he would be getting better. The stress that brought this on is no longer, but a new stress is present now. The worry of losing his job over being sick too much. It is a vicious circle. Right now, his heart rate is really fast and it makes his blood pressure lower, hence making him feel very weak, fuzzy minded and groggy.

This is happening way too soon in our lives. He has worked hard- I mean dog-hard all his life. Isn't there supposed to be a breather between working hard most of your life and feeling old, sick and washed up? Mind you, he's NOT washed up, but he feels washed up. A year ago, he was this vibrant, strong ox of a man; to now wobbling from the bed to the recliner. Oh, lest I forget, with a strong appetite for McKenzie's Burgers and Fries only. Before, he couldn't stand to eat the same thing twice.

Well, we're waiting for a call from his dr. who is in Houston today, so it might be late. I hope it can be taken care of OUT of the hospital, as he's quite tired of that. Mostly, he's tired of being cared for from a Hospital Contract dr. and being poked on constantly by blood suckers.

To be continued, the dr. just called, and told him to come in.-----------

Ok we're back. Did an EKG and it shows it's the left side and it's part of the healing process. Called in some medicine to maybe calm the heart down. Yep, another pill!! Hope it works!! At least we KNOW something now. Living thru this and not knowing is very stressful. I mean, questions like-will the heart finally just give out and stop beating?????----really does a number on the mind. But thank God, we rest easy knowing this is normal. It's not a nice normal, but it's to be expected and we just have to SUFFER. Those of you who knows anything about the family understand that last sentence. LOL

Ok , I'm thru, I feel better now. I just hope he, my heart of hearts, can feel better soon.

Back under the knife

Just one week from now, I hope and pray Wayne will be recovering from a very successful surgery. We knew this might have to be done again, but there's no harm in hoping he wouldn't. The odds were against him. He's so tired of being tired!!!!

I know he said he wouldn't do this again, but really it was the care or should I say careLESSNESS that he received in ICU at Herman Hospital. Once he found out he could have it done at Methodist Hospital, he was on board. Anything to feel better again.

What's weird is his younger sister from Monroe will be down in the medical center at the same time, except at St. Lukes. What's the odds of that happening??

Maybe 2 wks from now I will be blogging on how much better he feels. Or maybe in a month. In any case I'll be back.

Christmas

I was going to blog about Christmas, but Go Fish says it better than I ever could. And it's a lot more entertaining. Check my music out on my profile . They sing another too, it's called "It's About the Cross", but I'm not savvy enough on this computer to find it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!

Post-Surgery

Whew!!!! I think we're on the road to recovery finally. His experience in CCU after surgery was very terrifying. It's all we could talk about for a week. Still feeling weak, dizzy, short-breath, and tummy turning, we decided this just can't be right. Finally had the drs. address it and they pinned it down to the meds. Cut the dosage in half and already he is feeling better. We've been telling them for months about these feelings but until he had the ablation, it was unthinkable to shrink the dose.

Our support of family and friends has been overwhelming. I don't know and never want to know how people get thru tough times without the prayers and support of love ones. Prayers are more than just hoping for good luck. It's knowing that whatever the outcome, my God is with me in it. And He will never leave me or forsake me. I felt the presence of my Lord in a special way, this week. The same way He's been with me many other times in my life. He's with me at all times, but I don't always feel it. I had a perfect example of a Heavenly Father with my Earthly Father. My dad is 300 miles away, but I know he loves me and wants the best for me. I've always known that. It's the same with my mother, but I'm talking about the Father Figure. My dad, I'm sure, has been disappointed in my actions, but he never abandoned me or quit loving me. With that in my life, it was easy to accept a Heavenly Father that told me He would never leave me or forsake me.

OK, I'm stepping off the soapbox. I will close with this: Thank you, Lord for carrying me thru this time.

surgery time coming up

Won't be long now. Hope to God this does it for him. He's felt so-o bad for so long. Tomorrow starts 8 days of shots in the stomach. He gives it himself and dreading it. We have to be there around 6 a.m. By there, I mean Herman Hospital down in the medical center. Wish it could be done here, it's so complicated down there from parking to finding the right place to be. Guess we'll find out Monday where exactly to show up. We're a little nervous about this whole thing, but there doesn't seem to be any other options.

What feelings do we hope to eliminate, you ask??? Well, let's see:

the racing heart (as if he'd just ran a mile)

the bug crawling up and down the chest area

the dizzy spells

the ringing of the ears

the shortness of breath

the major weakness of whole body

That about covers it, I think. Please God, let this surgery work. He wants his life back. Gotta go, gettin' teary-eyed!!!