A Smile Goes a Long Way

My Rebekah found this out Sunday at the nursing home. While we adults were singing hymns of the faith---She was passing out bowls of ice cream to the residents. Oh My!!! they just love to see children, and they were tickled she was serving them. With her beautiful smile she made their day much brighter than they had anticipated.

This was the beginning of our time together on her sleepover. It was great!!

Thank you Beka for serving the least of us. Many can't do for themselves. She is not really accustomed to being around the elderly and she was a JEWEL in my eyes. Alex went with me last week, and they adored him also. But as expected , he was a little shy and finally fell asleep in my arms while we were singing.

They are always welcomed to come with me anytime.

Jesus loves the little children----- there is always room for children in God's eyes.

Third Time’s a Charm!!

That's what they say, anyway!!! Are there statistics on this??? Will I bring home a renewed and improved hubby or the bionic man??? At this point, anything is an improvement. Tomorrow will tell the story. If the pacemaker takes over the whole heart, isn't that life support?? That's what Wayne calls it. Living off a chip about as big as a silver dollar, with a battery no less!! Whose in charge of making these pacemakers and batteries, for that matter???? We know most things now a days are made in China. And some things are designed by engineers fresh out of college!!! EEEEKKK!!!! Did they finish at the top of their class or by the skin of their teeth??? We also know by experience- some people don't have integrity to build something to last. They'd rather cut corners and make a bigger profit. After all, they'll never the see or experience the results of a flawed product. They'll never face the family their product affects. I'm not just talking about the big guys on top. I'm talking about the John Doe who actually put it together. The one who goes home after an 8 hr. day not caring what kind of production he gave the company.

The human body is a magnificient piece of work. I am in awe of how it all works together for the common good of the body. It's scary to mess with mother nature, but if it has failed the body in some way, THANK YOU GOD--you gave some of us the brains to figure out how to help the body along.

Wayne and I can rest tonight with a peace that passes all understanding, knowing this is a win/win situation.

Many things about tomorrow - I don't seem to understand. But I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.

We both believe this. Here's another saying--

Those who sing--pray twice.

I still believe in Miracles

I believe we have witnessed a miracle. Those of you who already know the story leading up to this, hang in there---you know I'm a detailed person.

Wayne has for the last 5-plus weeks experienced a fast heart rate, which wears him out and gives him that whimpy feeling. This has been going on 24/7. The dr. said another ablation and if he couldn't resolve it, he'd just disconnect his heart and let the pacemaker run EVERYTHING. Yeah, I know, scarey!!

A couple of weeks before the Dr. visit, I heard testimony from a very reliable source ( a dr, no less). His son was about to endure a very painful surgery to remove a kidney stone. Now, he had had others that dissolved and some that broke up, but this particular one was large and would not budge. The dr.- father was reminded to ask God for his heart's desire. Well, it's obvious what that would be---for the stone to just disappear, right? Being a dr., he knew the chances of it disappearing were very slim, so asking God for this was a big step in faith. The morning of the surgery, his wife called him (as he was working-seeing patients) and told him-before surgery the drs. were checking to make sure exactly where the stone was located. THEY COULD NOT FIND IT!!!! The message of this story--pray your heart's desire.

Back to Wayne. This week I was talking to Wayne while he was working and told him about this story. I said maybe instead of praying for successful surgery, we should pray our heart's desire. Well I didn't have to hint as to what THAT would be. Our heart's desire is for God to heal him so that a 3rd surgery is not necessary. I told a few people to pray along with us for this specifically. Hadn't even had a chance to tell my Bible study ladies about it. I was going to tell them Tuesday when I saw them again. In my little human mind, thinking I had plenty of time to tell them, after all God's got til June 10th to do His wonders right???

This morning Wayne came in from working all night in the oilfield and told me to listen to his heart. I assumed he was worried, as the case usually is. HIS HEART WAS BEATING NORMAL. I raised up and looked at him in amazement. He said 76 beats a minute(which is normal), and it hasn't been that way in months. When he woke up this afternoon to get ready for work again--I listened again. STILL BEATING NORMAL!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!! Thank you Lord for showing us his heart has what it takes. I expect to be able to call the dr. and say--"no need, thanks anyway"--

Now this is still a free country, I THINK, and I choose to believe that God intervened and divinely calmed his heart down. Call me crazy-doesn't matter- I believe in miracles and we are giving God the Glory.

WHAT!! Another surgery?????

Well, we went to the doctor and the doctor said,

"ya got two choices since ya can't take meds.

I can do one more ablation, and if it's not a taker

I'll cut the connections,and leave it to the pacemaker."

Just one last surgery, that's what we understood.

After this, no more surgeries! Sure sounds good!

He'd feel pretty normal from the very start,

But of course, this is always a last resort.

All kiddin' aside, it's a scarey thing,

For the body to depend on such a small machine.

The other choice is keep doin' what he's doin',

And let me tell ya, that ain't a whole lot of livin'.

The choice is obvious, that ain't no lie,

'cause livin' like this, you'd just soon die.

But we have a GOD, and He'll see us thru,

'cause He still has alot for Wayne to do.

So we'll do all we can and give it our best,

But thru it all, in God we will rest.

Birthday Saga

Well, wouldn't ya know it. My old friend showed up today about noon. She wanted to show me her new suv. She wished me a belated BD and gifted me with 2 count them-2 1-hr. massages. She is now sporting a Grand Cherokee. She's one of those who has done everything right financially. Good for her, she has worked dog hard all her life and has had to fight her stupid husband on everything financially. I bet he's loving it now,lol He wouldn't be sitting so pretty had it not been for her.

I still miss who we were. We talked about those times. Some of which when she would get a new car, we would take a road trip. Ya know to test it out. Those were the good ole days-- Six Flags, Galveston, Canton, Austin, San padres Island, Biloxi, Destin, Ft. Walton, New Braunfels, San Antonio. Of course, all of those trips were not "new car" trips. My kids saw alot of these places because of her generousity. Don't know if they knew it before now, but they will.

Anywho!!! We had fun with or without the kids, she was like part of the family. I miss those days. I will try to be more tolerate of her now, she's in there somewhere. Deep inside. SHE will even say- she hasn't been the same since 2006 and she's right. Something snapped and I wish I knew how to fix it. I always knew how before. I have my own problems now and my plate is full, but she's in capable hands. God loves her more than I ever could.

This concludes the BD saga

My Birthday

I had a very good birthday. I requested money to have our yard cleaned up, only I'm too embarassed to ask my ex-yard guy if he'll take on the job. The backyard is a mess, partly b/c of our little diggers we rescued last winter and partly b/c everything is overgrown.

Anyway, my Bible Study group sang HB and my good friend Kathy treated me to lunch but most importantly some chat time.

Later in the evening, our family got together at Mark and Lisa's. We had hamburgers, quacamole and chips and those grilled peppers with bacon and shrimp, and cupcakes. Thanks Lisa and Rick.

It was sweet to see the little ones pile up in Wayne's lap and played hide and seek. Beka is growing up and is still my sweet pea.

It has just dawned on me what went wrong on my BD. I have not heard from one of my oldest friends in the world. This is the 1st BD she has missed. I'll call her next week, but not now; I don't want her to think that's why I'm calling. We usually do something together. In her defense, things aren't the same with us anymore and hasn't been for a couple of years. She has lost track of reality and I won't be surprised if someday I'm told she has totally lost it and is in Rusk or some place like it. We really do have a long history, but I find myself just not being able to relate to her at all. How crummy a friend is that, not to stick it out with her. I've been there for her thru everything in her life, being her stable rock to lean on. Now, I don't even know who she is anymore. I just don't have the energy to do it anymore. Before, I have put her before my husband and kids, to run to her rescue. Maybe she realizes I don't do that anymore. OR, maybe she doesn't b/c she's on another plain. lol. But I'm not kidding. My plate is very full and I just can't deal with her wierdness.

It still makes me sad that things have changed with us. I miss who she really is, down deep inside. I miss our fun doing anything and everything. There is a void where she was in my life. I think it's gone for good. I miss beating her in checkers not b/c I'm so good at checkers, but b/c she is so easily distracted, I could pull anything off. I miss go-cart racing. I beat her in that too.lol I miss going to the beach. I miss selling coke bottles to have enough money to go to the state park and making tuna salad sandwiches; riding bikes on the trails there with my kids.

I could go on and on. Bottom line- I miss who WE were. Ya know, younger and healthier. I pray she doing ok. I still love her like a sister. I just can't deal with her in large doses.

Heart of Hearts

The heart of all hearts is just not acting right. I can't tell you how, sad and frustrated that makes me feel. Wayne has one of the biggest hearts I know and sadly enough it has been thru the wringer. It's thought he might have addison's disease, which would explain his low blood pressure all his life. So, yep, you can guess that's another pill to take, hopefully to be the cure-all. I'm convinced stress brought all this to light, but with so much attention given to it, you'd think he would be getting better. The stress that brought this on is no longer, but a new stress is present now. The worry of losing his job over being sick too much. It is a vicious circle. Right now, his heart rate is really fast and it makes his blood pressure lower, hence making him feel very weak, fuzzy minded and groggy.

This is happening way too soon in our lives. He has worked hard- I mean dog-hard all his life. Isn't there supposed to be a breather between working hard most of your life and feeling old, sick and washed up? Mind you, he's NOT washed up, but he feels washed up. A year ago, he was this vibrant, strong ox of a man; to now wobbling from the bed to the recliner. Oh, lest I forget, with a strong appetite for McKenzie's Burgers and Fries only. Before, he couldn't stand to eat the same thing twice.

Well, we're waiting for a call from his dr. who is in Houston today, so it might be late. I hope it can be taken care of OUT of the hospital, as he's quite tired of that. Mostly, he's tired of being cared for from a Hospital Contract dr. and being poked on constantly by blood suckers.

To be continued, the dr. just called, and told him to come in.-----------

Ok we're back. Did an EKG and it shows it's the left side and it's part of the healing process. Called in some medicine to maybe calm the heart down. Yep, another pill!! Hope it works!! At least we KNOW something now. Living thru this and not knowing is very stressful. I mean, questions like-will the heart finally just give out and stop beating?????----really does a number on the mind. But thank God, we rest easy knowing this is normal. It's not a nice normal, but it's to be expected and we just have to SUFFER. Those of you who knows anything about the family understand that last sentence. LOL

Ok , I'm thru, I feel better now. I just hope he, my heart of hearts, can feel better soon.