MD Anderson, I have a few questions!!

Ok MD Anderson.... the ball's in your court now. You have insurance, medical reports, pet-scan results, biopsy results, tissue samples to do your own testing!! Show us your stuff!! How smart are you? No one else could figure what exact kind of cancer she has, can you?? Your reputation goes before you, can you live up to it with this case??? Is this cancer sarcoma and if so what kind? Is it melanoma from her cancer on her back in '97. OR is it thymoma? No one seems to think of that being the cause of her shortness of breath, which is the only symptom a man had when he had the same surgery I did, but did not have myasthenia gravis. And this is my friend's only symptom. The thymus gland sits on top of the heart. When it was first detected is was just on the thymus, but in 2 months time it had attached itself to the heart lining. I was lucky to have been diagnosed with myasthenia gravis, as my doctor wanted me to be checked for thymoma, which is common for the two to be linked.

Can you make my friend a priority? Can we just get this show on the road. I know what I've said before about this not being God's first rodeo, but I'm ready for the main event to begin. I've seen enough calf-roping, bull-riders, clowns getting knocked silly! I want to see some production and progress for the waiting game we've been playing...

Hopefully, the next post will be shouting thru the roof-top about an appt. soon!!

Labeling as I see it...

Family Bible Camp

My bestest friend and I got to go the Family Bible Camp for 1/2 the week. The only downside to this trip was that I left early on Wayne's birthday. It couldn't be helped, but it could be helped that I sent him off to work that morning forgetting to say Happy Birthday and to give him his BD card (which was in my truck on the trip). Came back in the house, drank my morning coffee, read the local paper, then it happened...moved over to the computer to check facebook before getting ready for the trip, and there it was... birthday wishes to Wayne from a couple of friends and Mark. Oh, no!!! So I called him on his cell phone to tell him Happy Birthday, but it's never the same. I felt so bad.

FBC was great. It's always so much fun to reunite with friends you haven't seen all year. And for me, it had been 5 years. So many of the families, including Kathy's (or Kathleen, as she is known there) go back generations. These friends' grandchildren go now. The teaching is so good and deep. I owe Kathy a heap of hugs for hooking me up with this camp. Even after missing 5 years, when I got there, it's as if time had stood still, for we never missed a beat. We just picked up where we left off. We share our joys and our woes with one another, with never a smidgen of feeling judged. I wish we lived closer, but now we have facebook to keep up with one another.

The first night Kathy and I talked til probably 2 a.m. It's a good thing the teaching is so good, because sitting thru 3 morning classes were rough. We really never get to talk at length anymore, so I suppose we were playing catch-up. It wasn't about surface things, it was about dispensational stuff. When her dad was still alive, we would gather in someone's room with her dad, her brothers and us and talk for hours with questions and answers. We thought it might happen this trip, but sometimes you just can't recreate a good moment. They happen because God purposed it.

The second night, we went to bed early (for campers) about 11p.m. We did have a short nap that day, just before we got together with some other women in the nurse's cabin for coffee time, getting to know newcomers and reminiscing with others. Is that spelled right?? We actually got to show off our fly-killing abilities, while others looked on in awe! Just kidding. Not about the fly killing. That was the downside of camp- lots and lots of flies. Oh, back to going to bed.. we both went to sleep fairly fast, but about 2 hrs. later, Kathy woke up short of breath. She sat up in the bed, I KID YOU NOT, for 4 hrs. trying to sleep sitting up. Every time she tried to lay down, she'd come right back up. Finally around 5a.m. she was able to lay down, but we were supposed to get up at 6:30. UGH! I postponed it to almost 7. Breakfast and 2 classes and camp was over. Time goes so fast when you're having fun!!

We were back on the road about 11:15 a.m. destination--Conroe. We were bringing Kayli (Kathy's grandaughter) and her friend home also. Being in my truck, I feared for our luggage with the probability of rain from Alex. Wayne has taught me well, I came armed with 4 contractor bags to put our belonging in. It worked out great, and thank goodness for that, because the closer we got to Conroe, the uglier it got. Oh, it drizzled on the way, but rained buckets closer to Conroe. We were able to get under Kathy's carport to get unloaded. I know she had to be so tired. She was able to call her doctor and talked a long time and he called in more meds for her. She needed a good night's sleep. While we were gone, we learned of our friend's brother passing away and the funeral was to be the next morning. I know she wasn't going to miss it. That morning, I learned she had a restful night, which was music to my ears.

Sorry to bore, but I wanted to remember these things, and old age is creeping up on me.

So, this is me labeling as I see it.

More Waiting

I'm kind of in a stupper, today.Not sure what I feel, what to write, but I write just the same. I've figured it out....it's therapeutic for me. When I write, my thoughts seem to fall in line. Otherwise, all my thoughts and feelings get jumbled up with the facts.

For instance:

Feelings.... I feel helpless. I feel sad. I feel worried. I feel angry. I feel confused. And many more, but you get my point.

Thoughts....I think why is no one jumping on this. I think who or what else can be done. I think we're talking about someone's health here, get over the red tape already. I think circle the wagons, it's prayer time without ceasing. I think, I think, I think!!!!!

Facts........I know for a fact God is in control. I know for a fact He is not taken by surprise. I know for a fact He loves her more than we can even imagine loving someone. I know for a fact He will see her thru this one way or another. He will never leave her or forsake her.

See what I mean?? All of this is swimming around in my head along with the guilt of worrying, because I know who holds tomorrow. To type it out gives me clarity. Then it's possible to rely on God. I don't know how people get thru the tough times in life without that blessed assurance.

Her Dr. called this morning. All of the drs. she has talked with, agree with her, that my friend needs to go to MD Anderson. This is an answer to a question of whether she should search out another hospital. The 2nd opinion is in and it's still inconclusive. Sarcoma? or melanoma? They are treated different ways. Dr. told her as far as the long term cure aspect, the time this is taking is not an issue. This is incurable. Surgery is not an option. If it's sarcoma--they suspect it traveled from the heart, which means the mass on heart is cancer. If it's melanoma--then it traveled from her back where she had it in '97. From a man's perspective, it's looking hopeless...in her bone, nodules scattered in lung, and in the lymph node. She needs God's wisdom in choosing treatment, but before that, doctors need wisdom in knowing what they are dealing with!!!!

BUT from GOD'S perspective, this ain't His first rodeo!! She is resting in His hands and I am to do the same thing. A note from her:

Psalm 31:14-15a, "But as for me, I trust in You; O Lord, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand...."; and so are yours if you are a child of God by faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and His work done on the cross for all of us. He loves each of you so much and has provided the only way for each of us to have an abundant life here on earth, and then to spend eternity in Heaven with Him (and our loved ones who have gone on) ---- and doing much, much more than floating around on a cloud or playing a harp, I can promise you that.

Just me trying to label this as best I see it. A friend loveth at all times.

Waiting Game--Things are in Motion

My friend heard from her oncologist this morning. She said she couldn't get anyone at Baylor to take her!! Crazy talk!! And the best thing to do was for her to change out of Aetna to regular medicare. Remember MDA will see her with that. She told her she was being as honest as she could be....with the mass on the heart, the spot on her hip bone, the nodules in lungs growing in size and number, spots scattered elsewhere in her body, and the lymph node under the liver.....it does not look good! Her words... "I cannot help you, it's beyond me, the best place for you to be is MD Anderson."

So the wheels are finally rolling. She's switched to medicare and is in the process of getting everything they need to them. First appt. is still going to be at least July 20th!! A month away!! So the waiting game continues on.

Again I say, this ain't God's first rodeo. Although we are surprised at news, good or bad, God cannot be surprised!! Amen??

Lord, we don't love her more than you do, but we need her more than you do. I'm just sayin'....

This is me labeling as I see it.

Psalm 31:14-15a "But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand...."

More on the Waiting Game

My friend's insurance ok'd her going to MD Anderson. Sounds great, right? Until you find out MD Anderson doesn't accept Aetna. Is that not a SCREAM???? Yesterday was a very upsetting grueling day to say the least. She also found out..SHE was supposed to get the cd of her pet scan to them and SHE had to give the lab permission to send her tissue to them. WHEN, do tell, was someone going to tell her. Everyone she asked kept passing the buck to someone else. Very frustrating. After all this news, was the call back to her, telling her they didn't accept her insurance.

Back to square 1. Now her oncologist is trying to get her seen by a doctor at Baylor. Doesn't matter, let's just get this show on the road!!

As I've said before--This ain't God's first RODEO! It's all in God's timing. She is resting in God's hands and trust her life to him, whatever He wills.

It's me going bonkers!!

Lord, I know you are all in this mess, and we will be able to see your perfect timing later. Just give us your peace that passes ALL understanding and the calm assurance of your presence.

This is me labeling as I see it. Rare do you find a friend like this. More precious than gold.

Psalm 31:14-15a "But as for me, I trust in You, O Lord, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand...."

And the Wait Goes On, and the Wait Goes On

Went with my friend to her oncologist yesterday, for the results of biopsy and ct scan. The verdict is Sarcoma cancer, but another opinion is being sought from Baylor to rule out any of it being a comeback of the melanoma she had years ago. We were told this is not uncommon to get 2nd opinions.

The nodules in her lung have grown in size and numbers, and the dr. strongly recommends her going to MD Anderson, as this is not her specialty. Her ins. does not approve of it, however, she was told if her pcp would send a referral, they would consider it. This is all underway as I type. And so we WAIT, YET AGAIN!!!We have found most of the waiting has been from the ins. approving EVERY STEP TAKEN!! Of course the Sadler Clinic "scramble" has not helped matters in the least, having to grab another pcp. And then grab another, as the first one could not take anymore medicare patients. She has been referred to a Dr. Patell. (sp), a specialist in Sarcoma cancers, at MDA.

The treatment would probably be chemo, and no surgery, but we WAIT!

Oh, and the 4x4x4 mass on/in her heart has not changed, but they still don't know what it is, as it did not light up in the pet scans like the cancer spots did.

My friend seems very calm, taking it all in. She knows our God is in control. She has become more assertive as she has learned she has to be. Physically, she says she is definitely more short of breath, just going from her bedroom to the kitchen, which is a fairly short distance. Other than that she feels ok. I started to say "feels normal", but what IS normal? As we grow older, normal changes, depending on how the body is functioning.

Anyhoo...this is me labeling it as I see it...... We WAIT!

p.s. Father God, please, we need her more than you need her.

Continued from last night--or early this morning--however you want to see it--June 10,4:30 p.m.

Aetna has approved her to go to MD Anderson. (99 visits) isn't that funny? The waiting still goes on, as we wait to get an appointment with Dr. Patell. The MDA lady told her she could not promise to get her in this month, but since her oncologist has already been talking to Dr. Patell, maybe that would make a difference.

This ain't God's first rodeo, so we are confident things will keep moving along.

Thank you Lord for breaking thru the red tape. One more thing--this is the verse she's leaning on Psalm 31:14-15a, "But as for me, I trust in You; O Lord, I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hand...."

Only me, labeling as I see it.

I Dunno about this!

Alex has gone for the day. He sure is a cutie. Next time he comes, I promised we'd go to Incredible Pizza.

We are in the midst of tearing out our carpet. Not quite sure, which way I want to go, but I'm leaning on granicrete floors. This amounts to painted concrete. http://customsurfacesolutions.com/InteriorFlooring.html

I just really hate the in-between stage. I'm ready to get-er done, before we run out of money, but do we need to paint before the floors are done. And if so, what color?? No one paints the walls white anymore. Do I get rid of wallpaper?? Oh, and some major fixing of things need to happen. We need to do something to the space where we took the bricks out under the snack bar. Boy, I can see now, the list just keeps getting longer. I'd like to just move. What's it like to move into a brand new house no one has ever lived in??? And where would we move? We need a fence for the dogs. The house is in such a convenient place, but the area is slowly deteriorating. It was a great place to raise our kids, but we're past that now.

I dunno... maybe I'll just freeze and not do anything. I hate having all these thoughts in my head at the same time!!! I'm not used to it..lol really!

This is me labeling as I see it.